


A Moment Of Weakness

by AraWrites



Series: Maxwell Trevelyan (DA:I) [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cole (Dragon Age) is a Good Friend, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Maxwell is a bit of a mess but good at hiding it, Relationship Problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 04:28:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13240431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AraWrites/pseuds/AraWrites
Summary: The Inquisitor's lack of time and (seemingly) lack of interest for their relationship annoys Dorian. Dorian wants to confront him but first is forced to search for him in Skyhold.





	A Moment Of Weakness

Getting ahold of the Inquisitor seemed at times to be absolutely impossible.  
Always he was surrounded by others; people who asked him for his help, a decision, his opinion on sometimes even the most mundane things. And if he wasn't pestered by them he approached them himself. Hours were spent with his advisers at the war table where he took care of the needs of far away lands and citizens. Always looking for something he could do, something he could use his newfound power for to make things a little better in their chaotic world.

He got it, he really did, but sometimes Dorian wished for a single minute they could spent together, alone and away from all the people he was forced to share him with. Even if it was just for a short kiss or to make sure everything was alright.  
It had been over a week since they had seen each other and the mage's mood was at an all time low now. He was sick of this, sick of constantly having to fight for the Inquisitor's attention. He was sick of always being the last in line of people who wanted something from the man he would have preferred to keep all to himself anyway. And he was especially sick of caring for a man who couldn't even find the time to say “Hello” at least once a day.

He got it, really, he was 'the Herald', the 'Chosen One', the one who was capable of closing the breach and the one they had to believe in.  
But he was also the man he had allowed to get close to him, closer than anyone. The one he had allowed to get past his carefully built up walls, the ones he had put up to protect himself from being hurt once again. Dorian had trusted him. Had trusted him when they had kissed each other and Maxwell had told him he wanted more. That he loved him and wanted no one else. Dorian hated himself for being so foolish again.

He angrily closed the book he had tried to read without much success for an hour now and roughly pushed it back into one of the bookshelves. He didn't even care if it was the correct spot. He had to draw a line, this had to end. Now. He wouldn't accept this any longer, being treated like a toy one picked up whenever they wanted to have some fun but otherwise ignored. Dorian stomped down the stairs and went straight for Maxwell's quarter. Of course it was empty, like it had been so often before in the last weeks. The room looked like it hadn't been used in a long time, something Dorian knew wasn't too unlikely. Where else could Maxwell be though?

Back in the hall Dorian first decided to ask Varric, the dwarf however only shrugged with his shoulders.  
“I haven't seen him in the last days. Probably out to take care of something, as usual”, Varric said while angrily crossing out a few words on a piece of parchment that seemed to be an early draft for one of his new books.  
“Maybe ask Cullen, if they aren't plotting something at the table they sometimes train together.”  
Dorian didn't even bother to thank Varric and just ran off angrily.  
“'Thanks Varric for your help, you are always so nice!'”, the dwarf sarcastically mocked Dorian's voice before he crossed out another sentence.

Cullen turned out to be equally clueless when asked about the Inquisitor's current whereabouts.  
“He came back late yesterday evening, since then I haven't seen him anymore.”  
The commander moved a book aside to write down something on a piece of paper underneath.  
“Maybe try the tavern, he sometimes spends time with Bull and his Chargers there”, he mumbled. Dorian closed the door again with a loud bang.  
Cullen's hand jerked to the side and a wide, black streak adorned his note now.  
Had he said something wrong?

By now Dorian felt like the Inquisitor was hiding from him and everyone else was playing along to keep Dorian from finding him. He walked across the courtyard now and to the “Herald's Rest”. Upon opening its door Dorian immediately recognized Iron Bull's wide silhouette sitting on one of the chairs in the hazy back of the tavern. A loud snare came from the Qunari's mouth, apparently he was taking a nap.  
“Hey, Bull!”  
No reaction. Dorian got closer to him and snapped with one of his fingers next to the Bull's face to get his attention. Suddenly one of Iron Bull's massive arms darted forward and he grabbed the mage's slim hand.  
“Careful, Vint, or the next time you'll lose it”, he growled, pulling Dorian a bit closer.  
“Hey, get...off...me”, Dorian panted while trying to free himself from the merciless grab of the horned man.

“What do you want from me?”  
The Bull finally freed his hand and Dorian angrily rubbed his wrist.  
“Certainly not asking for my hand to be crushed, thank you very much. Can you tell me where the Inquisitor is? I start to think he once more fell into the Fade, nobody has seen him since yesterday.”  
Instead of an answer the Bull let out a loud yawn and stretched his legs in a way that positioned Dorian between them now.  
“Why do you need him? If you need to get your rocks off I can certainly help with that too.”  
Dorian crossed his arms and rolled with his eyes. He never knew if the Qunari was playing with him or if he showed genuine interest. However, this wasn't the time to think about whether the horned man was flirting with him or not.  
“None of your business, my dear Bull. Tell me if you saw him or not and stop wasting my precious time.”  
The Bull let out a dramatic sigh and shrugged with his shoulders.  
“Always so cold. Anyway, no, I don't know where the boss is. But Cole brought him something to eat not long ago. Kid's upstairs if you wanna talk to him.”

Dorian slowly walked up the stairs.  
Why did Cole bring him something to eat? This didn't sound like Maxwell at all. He didn't use the others as his personal servants and he was surely capable of fetching himself a snack without the help of someone like Cole.

Dorian found the young man standing in a dark corner, staring into the void like always.  
“Cole, I have to ask you something”, Dorian said with a soft voice, trying his best not to scare off the spirit. He still didn't know how to handle him.  
“You seem angry. Why are you angry? There is pain, sadness, fear inside you. But also deep love and affection. Did something happen?”  
Dorian felt his throat tighten and goosebumps crawling across his skin. Even if Cole was a kind spirit talking to him was draining at times.  
“Cole, just tell me if you know where the Inquisitor is.”  
Just once Dorian hoped for a straight answer from the pale man but as usual was disappointed when Cole went on with his diffuse rambling.  
“Like a storm inside your head. Too often, too many words unspoken, too many words spoken that should have remained a secret. Your heart is screaming”  
Dorian took a deep breath and looked around, hoping nobody was watching or even worse listening to them.  
“Cole, this is not the time for...for whatever you do there. Do you know where he is?”  
Cole's dull eyes stared at, no, through him and Dorian could feel how the young man was creeping around in his thoughts and memories.  
“Yes, I know where he is.”  
Dorian had to suppress the urge to pull his hair in frustration.  
“Well, and where is he?!”  
Cole lowered his head.  
“Exhaustion. A burden. Lost. A heavy heart, too much for him to bear. Failure. He's on the walls.”  
Dorian furrowed his brows, he was pretty sure that Cole had been talking about Maxwell in the end.  
“Thank...you”, Dorian mumbled before he headed back to the stairs.  
While “the walls” wasn't a very detailed answer he at least knew now where to look for the Inquisitor

Pain and anger were quickly replaced by worry when Dorian walked on the rocky rampart. A cold wind was blowing down from the mountains. He rubbed his arms and shivered while he searched for the Inquisitor. He turned around a corner and let out a relieved sigh when he finally found him. Maxwell was sitting on the ground, arms looped around his knees and his head resting on them. Next to him was a little package, something wrapped in fabric, probably the food Cole had brought him. It was still untouched. Was he sleeping? Why was he even sitting here, out in the cold?  
Maxwell turned his head now and looked up to him. Dark circles accompanied sunken in, tired eyes and the usual rich copper shade of his skin had lost its healthy tone. His blue eyes lacked any shine and he reminded Dorian of some of the men he had seen throughout his travels. Men who had seen, had endured too much in their life. Broken men.  
“Maxwell?”  
Dorian's voice sounded a lot softer than he actually had intended it to be. He was still furious but seeing Maxwell in such a miserable state made it difficult for Dorian to lash out on him.

“Hello Dorian”, Maxwell replied, a faint smile on his lips.  
“Sorry, I fell asleep. Do you need anything?”  
There it was again, the usual question. An offer for help in a moment where the Inquisitor probably needed a helping hand the most. Dorian wasn't really sure if he should be moved by Maxwell's undying willingness to help or if he should remain angry because of his self-destructive tendencies.  
He decided to be angry.

“What do you think you are doing here?!”  
Dorian gesticulated towards the Inquisitor on the ground, the walls, the sky. Maxwell slowly stood up while rubbing his eyes with one hand, leaning on the wall for support with the other. His legs were shaking and Dorian suddenly realized that Maxwell's clothes were a lot looser on him than Dorian remembered them to be.  
“I told you already I fell asleep.”  
Dorian huffed and put his hands on his hips. This time he wouldn't let the Inquisitor get away so easily.  
“You know exactly what I mean. And have you looked into a mirror lately? You look horrible.”  
Maxwell let out a low chuckle.  
“Charming, as usual.”  
The mage made a step towards him and rammed his index finger into the Inquisitor's chest, visibly fuming. He certainly wasn't in the mood to be mocked.  
“Don't you think you can play some sick game with me. You always need two for that, and I won't fall for this, not again. I was worried sick and you bastard can't even be bothered to show up once in a while?!”  
Dorian was screaming by now and pushing the Inquisitor with every word.  
“You ungrateful, disgusting asshole! Say something!”  
Small sparks of fire crackled around the mage now, his face distorted in anger and pain.

The wind was howling above their heads and Maxwell just stared right through him, too tired to fight back.  
“I'm sorry, Dorian. I didn't mean to worry you.”  
Dorian let out a frustrated groan and pulled his hair, turning his back to Maxwell while doing so, only to turn around again and approach the Inquisitor once more.  
“Stop that! “  
Dorian tried to push him again when all off a sudden Maxwell grabbed his hands and pulled him close. He leaned down to the smaller mage and looked deep into his eyes.  
“What do you want, Dorian? Do you want to scream at me, hurt me, let out your anger? Then do so, feel free. I deserve it. But if you want anything else, please tell me because I can't read your mind.”

Dorian clenched his fists and fire started sparking up from them again. For a second he really thought about hurting the Inquisitor, to let out all the anger and pain he had bottled up in the last weeks, but he simply couldn't. The man in front of him hadn't seeked out to hurt him. Dorian mustered Maxwell's face. What had Cole said again? Failure, burden, exhaustion, a heavy heart.

Dorian slowly relaxed his shoulders and lowered his arms. When it was obvious that he wouldn't attack Maxwell again the Inquisitor let go of his hands. His calm, determined face immediately went back to its former exhausted expression, even worse than before.  
“Look, Dorian, I-...”  
Dorian cut him off right away.  
“No, don't say anything. I will ask you this only once, and you better say the truth. Do you still want me? Us?”  
Maxwell nodded.  
“Good. Meet me later in your room. Eat something, take a bath and sleep a bit. Right now you are not really worthy being seen with me and I prefer to surround myself with pretty things.”  
Dorian turned around and headed towards one of the towers.  
“Oh, and you better show up, you don't want to see me when I'm _really_ angry.”

–

Dorian was standing on the Inquisitor's balcony now, looking at the moon in the clear sky above him. It was even colder now than before and Dorian was sure that soon snowflakes would fall from the starry firmament. The usual buzzing of Skyhold, the voices of people working, the fighting soldiers, everything had stopped. All he could hear now was the wind echoing in the vast mountains surrounding them and the crackling of burning wood in the nearby fireplace.

He closed his eyes when finally the door was opened, followed by slow steps heading towards him. Warm arms embraced him from behind and the Inquisitor pressed him gently against his own body. Dorian felt an all too familiar heavy sensation rising up from his stomach, up to his chest. So many songs, stories, lives wasted for this one feeling. An emotion that all too often had caused him and many others great pain. Yet, at this very moment, Dorian wouldn't have traded it for anything else in the world.

“Good for you to be here. I already started coming up with ways to punish you in case you would disappoint me again.”  
He turned around in order to look at Maxwell's face. Dorian was relieved to see that by now the Inquisitor looked a lot less like he had already shaken hands with the Maker. He let his fingers glide through Maxwell's hair, down his temples and watched how his lover slowly closed his eyes. His fingertips carefully followed the numerous scars that adorned the face of the Inquisitor before Dorian cupped his face with his hands and leaned closer.  
“Way better, Amatus...”, Dorian whispered before he finally placed a short kiss on Maxwell's lips.  
Oh, how he had missed this!

Dorian felt how Maxwell's formerly so tensed up body slowly relaxed, like he had one less fear that plagued him, one less burden to deal with. The Inquisitor pulled him closer now and rested his forehand against Dorian's.  
“I hope you are not angry anymore?”, Maxwell said while wrapping his arms around Dorian's hips.  
Dorian chuckled and playfully tugged at the buttons of Maxwell's jacket.  
“Ooooh, I'm still very angry. But I'm sure we'll find a way and I can forgive you for what you did.”

**Author's Note:**

> Second piece I wrote for my Inquisitor and his romance, Dorian.  
> I always imagined that the 'job' as Inquisitor is extremely exhausting, for body and mind, and leaves little time for anything else. This can be very difficult for a relationship, especially when the Inquisitor doesn't talk about his problems.
> 
> For the curious/the ones who want to see a picture of him, [here](http://bit.ly/2DNEjLI) is a detailed profile of my Inquisitor.


End file.
